Our relationship foundered over the vexed issue of redefining marriage, for my friend was gay and expected us to affirm the legalization of gay marriage in the United States and his forthcoming betrothal, as he referred to it, to his longtime partner. This we could not do … He demanded total assent and expected our congratulations. But as he once wrote me about another matter, “you don’t owe a friend a lie.” It’s a maxim worth living by.

David Solway.